I Knew a Girl Named Nikki... And Long Story Short, Later On I Had to Replace My Hip

According to News of the World, Prince is going to need hip replacement surgery after being "crippled by years of sexy dancing."

During the two-hour op—more common for OAPs [Old Age Pensioners]—the Purple Rain singer will have the ball and socket of his damaged hip taken out and titanium replacements cemented in.

News of the World GP Dr Hilary Jones said: "The op won't stop him dancing. But if he does anything too vigorous—for example the splits—the new joint may become displaced."

"Sexy dancing," huh? Well, whatever. I just don't know whether this story should make me feel old or just laugh and laugh and laugh. Prince needs a new hip! Good luck finding those elevator shoes in orthopedic style, grandpa.